Good Gawd, Brit. Enough's enough.

To be filed under: Savage Train Crash From Which I Cannot Turn Away

In a recent post I cited some very, ahem, reliable internet sources who said that Britney Spears and K-Fed's whirlwind romance and marriage was done. In response, Brit Brit took to the airwaves, inviting none other than Good Morning America's Matt Lauer to her home for a tete-a-tete. I'm sure it was touching as hell. I saw clips during which poor Brit sobbed (tears and all - a real moment) that "we're people, too", that her marriage to K-Fed (be sure to check this alternative cover art for his album here) was "awesome", and that she was sure that she is "a good mom." Powerful stuff, people, especially with the cuts to Matt Lauer's oh-so-serious look.

Yeah. Right. The fact is, Brit Brit, your 15 minutes have been extended because morons like myself find your behavior fascinating to watch in a scientific experiment sort of way.

And I'm sure you're all asking yourselves, "Wherefore the cynicism Pedro?"

Oh, people. I wish I hadn't seen this, but Jessica and Jesse Gawker tipped me off and I felt compelled to bring it to you, my loyal reader(s). Here it is, from Us Weekly (you know how we love our fact checked, reliable sources here at Pedro's!!!), prepare thyselves.

No changing table? No problem. One June 4, Britney Spears, 24, with 9-month-old son Sean in tow, picked up pink thongs at a Victoria’s Secret in Mission Viejo, California. Her next order of, uh, business? Changing Sean’s dirty diaper — on the floor next to the cash register! Says the source, “Britney then tried to hand it to an employee,” but the salesperson wouldn’t take it.

As if a barefoot, fat and pregnant Britney in a pink thong isn't terrifying enough, she plunks the kid down right there, amidst oodles of satin and lace, and unleashes the loaded chambre courtesy of Sean P. Can you imagine? The best part of this story is the salesperson who was basically like, "Fuck that! I don't care who you are. That shit is aaaaalllllllll you! Peace out Beeyatch!"