David Blaine: Magician, Illusionist, Total Fucking Tool

Can you believe this guy? I swear to God, he drives us here at Pedro's NYC totally nuts. Yet, in one of those unfortunate conditions of the human experience, this is one of those things in life I just can't help but to look at. Seriously Kyle. I hate this guy. One time in London, I actually took a walk across London Bridge just to witness the fact that this idiot put himself in a glass box suspended from a crane for like a month. Where does he come up with this stuff?

I saw this photo, right, of him reading a hand written message from a gentleman who, based solely on sartorial evidence, appears to be some kind of medical professional. I'm dying to know what it says. I've thought of all kinds of things, ranging from the obvious "You're on your own now dumbass" to the cynical "While you're in there I'll be with your girlfriend". [Any other ideas? Post in the comments section - Ed.] And that's another thing. How does he bag all these chicks, anyway? I mean, what's his pick up line? "Hey Baby. I rocked a glass box for 44 days. Wanna fuck?" How does that work? We hear at Pedro's make no claim to understand chicks - we simply tip toe around and hope for the best. But how does a woman arrive at the conculsion that parking in a glass box for 44 days makes a man appealing? Where's the logic in that? There isn't any! If there was then no one would be seen with this knucklehead unless very well paid. Rather, a better line would be something like, "Hey Baby. Look at the idiot in the glass box. I'm not stupid enough to do something that dumb. Wanna fuck?" But hey - we're from Mars so what do we know, right?

Anyway, I digress. These stunts have awarded Mr. Blaine a certain amount of fame. Google registered 10.9 million hits in 0.7 seconds for David Blaine whereas Google returned only 41 hits for PedrosNYC (albeit in a very fast 0.22 seconds so TAKE THAT! HA!). He was highlighted by Spencer Sloane (who's from Atlanta, people), over at Goldenfiddle.com, and of course I'm writing to add my two cents as well. There's been some local news coverage and the grand finale will be aired on national tv. NBC points out other Blaine tricks include

Blaine's previous feats included balancing on a 22-inch circular platform atop a 100-foot pole for 35 hours; being buried alive in a see-through coffin for a week; and surviving inside a massive block of ice for 61 hours, all of which were performed in New York. In 2003, he fasted for 44 days in a suspended acrylic box over the Thames River in London.

Riveting stuff no doubt. Anyway, I just think this guy is a tool but I might have to stop by and see him in all his stupidity for myself. What can I tell you? I hate myself for it but what am I gonna do?