No! I said I'm on the Underhill's tab, thanks
So this guy goes out with a couple of buddies and drops $241,000 at Scores. Let's take a closer look at this, shall we? I mean, this is some kinda math, yo. Now I'm a pretty big spender - that's just how I roll, as you all know. But schmearioulsy, how do you drop $241,000 at Scores in one night?
Scenario 1: If you only get lap dances, at $20/dance, that's 12,050 dances, not including tip or drinks, etc. at approximately 3.5 minutes per song, that would take 42,175 minutes, or 702+ hours which = 29+ days. Hmmm - not so reasonable. Next!
Scenario 2: Same as the last one, but this time we'll be more realistic. Let's say you tip each girl $10 per dance (Ref: high roller) and you have 10 drinks while you're there. Then, it looks like this: the 10 drinks will cost you $15/per, plus the tip of $5 per drink brings your bar bill to a healthy $200. At $30/dance with the remaining $240,800, you can get 8,026 lap dances, which at 3.5 minutes per song equals 28,093 minutes, or 468 hours which is 19.5 days. More reasonable, but I suspect that no man could take that and you'd probably end up dead. So again, not so reasonable.
Scenario 3: Let's move this to the probable zone. If I'm going to roll into Scores, I'm bringing Ralphie-Mal and Chris for starters. RGD has the Scores experience and Chris has no kids and thus is pretty much always available. This CEO brought three friends, which dramatically reduces the number of days it would take to drop this kind of cake so it's only fair that I get to share the wealth as well, right? Hopefully we'll bump into Howard Stern. And we're not sittin in the cheap seats. We want lotsa company and we want it in the champagne room. I want Cristal. Lots of it. I want it flowing until all the girls are covered in it. I suspect in that sitchy-ation that I might even get some on myself. But, whatever. I digress. That fact is, that in a good 12 hours you probably can blow $241,000 at Scores. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I'm figuring 3 girls each (9 total), at $1,000 per hour. And if history is any judge, well, we'd probably knock back a good four bottles each of champers, plus two bottles each for the girls. That's a total of 18 bottles for the girls and 12 for me and my homebeasts. 30 bottles at $500 = $15,000. Nice.
A solid start, but we still have to blow through 226 grand - no easy task at that. So let's look at the more aggressive portion of our cap ex for the evening. With 9 girls, each commanding $1,000 per hour, that's $9,000 per hour - but we gots to tip because we're whales, high rollers, big stakes guys ... you know, idiots. So let's say we tip each girl $100 per hour. So our hourly cap ex for "conversation" is $9,900 - for math's sake let's just say $10,000 because Ralphie-Mal says that this way is easier.
Now we here at Pedro's NYC are pretty good with numbers so let's see where all this gets us. Czech this out:
$241,000. Less: $15,000 for Cristal = $226,000. Hourly companion outlay: $10,000 which, when divided into $226,000 = 22.6 hours. THAT'S LESS THAN ONE DAY. Nooooowwww we're a talkin people. This is getting more and more interesting. I mean from there, all you've got to do is toss in a few trip to the "chambre privee" for some quality time and BAM! You're in and outta there in 15 hours. No probs whatsoever. Of course, you might go out on a stretcher and end up in traction for a few weeks, but hey! What's a coupla weeks of traction between friends?
So there you have it. I could swing on in with a coupla friends and drop $241,000 at scores in, like, 15 hours. A test of wills, certainly, but as Sun Tzu said, "All battles are won before they are fought." I think this guy would know how to drop $241k in a few hours too.
BTW, if anyone out there has 20 grand to drop, stop what you're doing and call me - I've got some ideas on how to throw it away.
Have a great weekend people.
Scenario 1: If you only get lap dances, at $20/dance, that's 12,050 dances, not including tip or drinks, etc. at approximately 3.5 minutes per song, that would take 42,175 minutes, or 702+ hours which = 29+ days. Hmmm - not so reasonable. Next!
Scenario 2: Same as the last one, but this time we'll be more realistic. Let's say you tip each girl $10 per dance (Ref: high roller) and you have 10 drinks while you're there. Then, it looks like this: the 10 drinks will cost you $15/per, plus the tip of $5 per drink brings your bar bill to a healthy $200. At $30/dance with the remaining $240,800, you can get 8,026 lap dances, which at 3.5 minutes per song equals 28,093 minutes, or 468 hours which is 19.5 days. More reasonable, but I suspect that no man could take that and you'd probably end up dead. So again, not so reasonable.
Scenario 3: Let's move this to the probable zone. If I'm going to roll into Scores, I'm bringing Ralphie-Mal and Chris for starters. RGD has the Scores experience and Chris has no kids and thus is pretty much always available. This CEO brought three friends, which dramatically reduces the number of days it would take to drop this kind of cake so it's only fair that I get to share the wealth as well, right? Hopefully we'll bump into Howard Stern. And we're not sittin in the cheap seats. We want lotsa company and we want it in the champagne room. I want Cristal. Lots of it. I want it flowing until all the girls are covered in it. I suspect in that sitchy-ation that I might even get some on myself. But, whatever. I digress. That fact is, that in a good 12 hours you probably can blow $241,000 at Scores. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I'm figuring 3 girls each (9 total), at $1,000 per hour. And if history is any judge, well, we'd probably knock back a good four bottles each of champers, plus two bottles each for the girls. That's a total of 18 bottles for the girls and 12 for me and my homebeasts. 30 bottles at $500 = $15,000. Nice.
A solid start, but we still have to blow through 226 grand - no easy task at that. So let's look at the more aggressive portion of our cap ex for the evening. With 9 girls, each commanding $1,000 per hour, that's $9,000 per hour - but we gots to tip because we're whales, high rollers, big stakes guys ... you know, idiots. So let's say we tip each girl $100 per hour. So our hourly cap ex for "conversation" is $9,900 - for math's sake let's just say $10,000 because Ralphie-Mal says that this way is easier.
Now we here at Pedro's NYC are pretty good with numbers so let's see where all this gets us. Czech this out:
$241,000. Less: $15,000 for Cristal = $226,000. Hourly companion outlay: $10,000 which, when divided into $226,000 = 22.6 hours. THAT'S LESS THAN ONE DAY. Nooooowwww we're a talkin people. This is getting more and more interesting. I mean from there, all you've got to do is toss in a few trip to the "chambre privee" for some quality time and BAM! You're in and outta there in 15 hours. No probs whatsoever. Of course, you might go out on a stretcher and end up in traction for a few weeks, but hey! What's a coupla weeks of traction between friends?
So there you have it. I could swing on in with a coupla friends and drop $241,000 at scores in, like, 15 hours. A test of wills, certainly, but as Sun Tzu said, "All battles are won before they are fought." I think this guy would know how to drop $241k in a few hours too.
BTW, if anyone out there has 20 grand to drop, stop what you're doing and call me - I've got some ideas on how to throw it away.
Have a great weekend people.
posted by Pedro at 9:45 PM
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