Dakota Fanning's plot to rule the world
**UPDATE**: Looks like I'm not alone! Defamer noticed "Dakota Fever" in LA over the weekend. I swear, it's just too crazy to not be true. It really is Dakota's world and we just live in it. *Sigh*
With this weekend's release of "Dreamer: Inspired by a True Story" a rash of articles have circulated about the remarkable greatness that is pint-sized Dakota Fanning. I'm stepping in here because it's about time someone cried foul. How is this kid such an A-Lister? I don't get it! Can anyone out there help me here? This kid's gotta be the most annoying kid in America!
Elisabeth Shue was quoted as saying that she was willing to take any part available to her just for the chance to work with Ms. Fanning again, "just because I love her so much." What a load of BS. It's sickening. Elisabeth Shue, the lovable Ali Mills from The Karate Kid, the scary street ho from Leaving Las Vegas, is kissing up to 11 year olds! I have to wonder, what has her career has come to? Where's her dignity? Her self respect?
But shmeariously, folks, accusations of plastic surgery aside (via Goldenfiddle), let's look at the facts: her actual filmography. Because this kid's movie list is terrible, no doubt about it.
Dreamer: Inspired by a True Story (2005) - Predictable schmaltz.
Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch Has a Glitch (2005) (V) - Straight to video! Well done, indeed!
War of the Worlds (2005) - This film was so mediocre that the Cruiser had to hype it by going crackers. See other posts below for further details on the sweet psychosis that is ... TomKat! Also, Ms. Fanning's character is so annoying that the whole film experience was an exercise in frustration.
Hide and Seek (2005) - Um, did anyone see this movie? Exactly what I thought.
Nine Lives (2005) - From the IMDB Plot Summary: "Captives of the very relationships that define and sustain them, nine women resiliently meet the travails and disappointments of life." Jeezus, who writes this stuff?
Man on Fire (2004) - Another Denzel vehicle that nobody paid to see.
Kim Possible: A Sitch in Time (2003) - Do I really need to comment here people?
The Cat in the Hat (2003) - I love Mike Myers as much as the next guy, but this was a total bomb.
Uptown Girls (2003) - Who the eff green lights this crap?
Sweet Home Alabama (2002) - Another family classic, I'm sure. Melanie Griffith? Ahhh, not so much, thanks!
Trapped (2002) - Another film no one saw, despite the presence of Charlize Theron hottness.
I Am Sam (2001) - This, apparently, is "an important film." In my book that's code for "it sucks." Generally I love Sean Penn - only as an actor, mind you, not as a political activist - but there's just zero chance I'll ever watch this movie.
So there you have it. My rant of the day. I'm so annoyed by all this feel good Hollywood BS. 11 Year old A-Listers with terrible resumes and faces for radio who bring home millions per picture and I can't afford to pay off my student loans. Un-effing-believable. No Buzz for DFan from Pedro.
With this weekend's release of "Dreamer: Inspired by a True Story" a rash of articles have circulated about the remarkable greatness that is pint-sized Dakota Fanning. I'm stepping in here because it's about time someone cried foul. How is this kid such an A-Lister? I don't get it! Can anyone out there help me here? This kid's gotta be the most annoying kid in America!
Elisabeth Shue was quoted as saying that she was willing to take any part available to her just for the chance to work with Ms. Fanning again, "just because I love her so much." What a load of BS. It's sickening. Elisabeth Shue, the lovable Ali Mills from The Karate Kid, the scary street ho from Leaving Las Vegas, is kissing up to 11 year olds! I have to wonder, what has her career has come to? Where's her dignity? Her self respect?
But shmeariously, folks, accusations of plastic surgery aside (via Goldenfiddle), let's look at the facts: her actual filmography. Because this kid's movie list is terrible, no doubt about it.
Dreamer: Inspired by a True Story (2005) - Predictable schmaltz.
Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch Has a Glitch (2005) (V) - Straight to video! Well done, indeed!
War of the Worlds (2005) - This film was so mediocre that the Cruiser had to hype it by going crackers. See other posts below for further details on the sweet psychosis that is ... TomKat! Also, Ms. Fanning's character is so annoying that the whole film experience was an exercise in frustration.
Hide and Seek (2005) - Um, did anyone see this movie? Exactly what I thought.
Nine Lives (2005) - From the IMDB Plot Summary: "Captives of the very relationships that define and sustain them, nine women resiliently meet the travails and disappointments of life." Jeezus, who writes this stuff?
Man on Fire (2004) - Another Denzel vehicle that nobody paid to see.
Kim Possible: A Sitch in Time (2003) - Do I really need to comment here people?
The Cat in the Hat (2003) - I love Mike Myers as much as the next guy, but this was a total bomb.
Uptown Girls (2003) - Who the eff green lights this crap?
Sweet Home Alabama (2002) - Another family classic, I'm sure. Melanie Griffith? Ahhh, not so much, thanks!
Trapped (2002) - Another film no one saw, despite the presence of Charlize Theron hottness.
I Am Sam (2001) - This, apparently, is "an important film." In my book that's code for "it sucks." Generally I love Sean Penn - only as an actor, mind you, not as a political activist - but there's just zero chance I'll ever watch this movie.
So there you have it. My rant of the day. I'm so annoyed by all this feel good Hollywood BS. 11 Year old A-Listers with terrible resumes and faces for radio who bring home millions per picture and I can't afford to pay off my student loans. Un-effing-believable. No Buzz for DFan from Pedro.
posted by Pedro at 5:20 PM
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