Friday, October 21, 2005

Developing! Katie Holmes learning how to knit! TomKat still Koo Koo for Coco Puffs!


Holy crap. I've just gotta say - and Gareth will attest to this, I absolutely cannot get enough of TomKat. I know www.defamer.com has a tag line saying that they're "Unhealthily obsessed with TomKat" and I'm right behind them. The shocking besteverness makes me giddy and excited like a kid on four Red Bulls on Christmas morning! This morning, MSNBC posted a transcript of a Today Show interview with Mrs. Cruise herself, fka Joey (RIP). Apparently she's "excited" and "learning how to knit." She's even picked up the absolutely sweetest nickname of all time: Cruiser Spawn Carrying Vehicle ("CSCV"). GENIUS! Go to www.tomcruiseisnuts.com for daily updates on Sr. Cruise and the CSCV, it's a brilliant website.

Of course for those of you who live in remote places devoid of media coverage and light, the general story here is that Sr. Cruise assembled a list of possible starlet candidates who would play the role of a lifetime: Mrs. Cruise. Inclusive in the contract is, allegedly, artificial insemination and child birth, a wedding, and NO QUESTIONS ASKED! The salary for this position (based on starlet's gross box office receipts, obvs) has been said to be in the $10 million range. Other names rumored to have interviewed for the job are Scarlett Johannsen and Jessica Alba. That's right, Jessica Alba. Jennifer Love Hewitt's name has been tossed around too. Nice work, if you can get it. The term of the contract has not been disclosed nor have rumors circulated indicating anything. And by the way, this is all hearsay and utterly unreliable internet rumor mongering, so of course I believe it completely. How much fun is this? I love TomKat, it's that simple.

Furthermore, I'm sure you've all heard Sr. Cruise blathering on about Scientology (or ScienTOMogy as some have named it). [**UPDATE 10/28/05** Scientology lawyers have forced the sweetness that was the ScienTOMogy website to shut down, dropping a Cease & Desist letter on them and subsequently they have closed the site.] Now I have it on completely unreliable authority that his recent outbursts and behavior are in line with his achieving OT-VII (that's Operating Thetan Level 7 to you) status within the cult, I mean Church, of Scientology. Now don't get me wrong. I dig Xenu as much as the next guy, but Tom's kinda cracked. He's become that train wreck in slo-mo that you just can't turn away from. You must check out this website for more fun with Scientology. I swear I'm not making this up!

This, people, is original content, baked and served right in our own Rockefeller Center, for your viewing pleasure. Mmm, Mmm, Best!

Without further ado, the interview:

Two weeks ago, the world found out that Tom-Kat will be starting a family with their very own Tom-Kitten. “Today” West Coast contributor Maria Menounos got an exclusive first chat with Holmes since announcing the big baby news.

Katie Holmes: We're so excited.

Maria Menounos: Tell me like what it’s like: You're pregnant [and] you are marrying the man you've always dreamed of.

Holmes: I know.

Menounos: It's such a story book.

Holmes: It's amazing. I'm so happy, it's a dream come true. I feel great. I'm beaming and … I'm so excited.

Menounos: Are you guys going to start putting together the baby room and stuff?

Holmes: Yes. We're getting that together and I'm learning how to knit.

Menounos: Have you guys started putting wedding plans together yet?

Holmes: We are. We don't have a date just yet, but there is so much excitement going on. It's just amazing.

Menounos: It's your first wedding. I can imagine it's going to be the biggest wedding ever.

Holmes: It's exciting. We don't know yet but we are thrilled.

Menounos: What's Tom saying?

Holmes: He's thrilled.

Menounos: Is he filming right now?

Holmes: He's filming "Mission Impossible 3."

Menounos: Do you get to visit him often?

Holmes: Yeah. I'm on my way right now.

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