Idiotarod 2006

I saw this gem on Thrillist last week. How much fun does this sound? It's like the Iditarod, but for kooks, knuckleheads and others lacking in social prominence and graces. In other words, people just like you... and the editorial staff of Pedro's NYC.

Here's a description of the race, from the organizers' website:

The Iditarod is the famous long-distance race in which yelping dogs tow a sled across Alaska. Our Idiotarod is pretty much the same thing, except that instead of dogs, it's people, instead of sleds, it's shopping carts, and instead of Alaska it's New York City.

But it's not just like that. After all, people, this is Pedro's NY Effing C. And we all know that as New Yorkers we have to roll a certain way. So these geniuses (or is that genii?) came up with some rules. Regard:

The race begins Saturday January 28, 2006 in Brooklyn at 2:30pm at Monster Island, 210 Kent Avenue in Williamsburg (L Train to Bedford). We will announce two checkpoints and a finish line before the race. You choose the fastest path. You will be held for 20 minutes at each checkpoint. There will be booze at the checkpoints.

When I read this I started to get kinda pumped. This sounds like fun. I mean, how bad could it possibly be? Drinking booze is involved - even encouraged! But there's more, my loyal steakheads! When asked where to get a shopping cart, they reply to "Be resourceful." When asked what it will cost they pull no punches and state the obvious: "Dignity ... and $5 per person." There are also awards for the winners as well as best act of sabotage.

Now as most of you all know, I'm basically a Manhattan guy. Some of this is a direct result of being a lazy, tired drunk who is almost 40 years old. Hipster parties in Billyburg? Not so much. Misshapes? I think not. You get the idea.

However, this phenomenon also stems from back in the day when every time my friend Bullsie left the island of Manhattan the Invisible Man took him down - at times causing serious damage (I'll try to get some actual shots in here at some point because I do have them at home). Some have argued that it's because every time he left Manhattan he got so hammy-head that he fell down or over, but I've seen things most wouldn't believe and it's not because I was too loaded to know the difference. We here at Pedro's are professionals and wouldn't lie about something like this. The invisible man had it out for Bullsie. I saw him nearly take James down once too, but that's another story...

But the thing is, is that Bullsie's been Livin' La Vida Hungary for a coupla years ostensibly mitigating Invisible Man risk. And as such, I'm willing to risk a subway ride to the hipster heaven that is Williamsburg to attend what I'm sure will be a fine, fine event. My G-town Hoyas take on a pretty tough looking Cincinnati team at 12 noon on ESPN2, but we could probably at least make it to the finish line for the big finale, just to see all these "athletes" in their moments of triumph.

For some shots from 2005 Idiotarod, click here. I think it looks like a ball. So if anyone wants to hit this (Samwell?), lemme know cause it would appear the girlfriend is, shockingly, uninterested. Boo Yah!