Faces for Radio, Monday Morning Edition

I've decided that since I'm so effing beautiful, that I would start a column here at Pedro's about those whom I deem to be ugly. Yes, this is totally rude. Yes, this is not fair to those I choose to ridicule. And yes, I should have something better to do. But I don't and it's Columbus Day, I slept terribly last night and consequently I'm tired, cranky and bitter this morning. On top of that, all I have to look forward to today is a lunch with my sponsor who's going to lecture me ad nauseum about how to fix my so called life. Ugh. Shoot me now.

Any-yawn, I'm going to start off this here column with Sandra Bernhard. Granted, she was brills-effing-murray in Hudson Hizzawk ("Bunny! Ball Ball!"), but lately she seems to be in the news because she can't close her freakin' pie hole. And what a savage pie hole it is! Check out this pic from PageSix.com:

The pride of Flint, Michigan. Jeezus.

Apparently she thought that cracking wise about VP hopeful Sarah Palin getting gang raped by a cadre of black men was "funny." Now I may not be Billy Crystal or George Carlin, but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to determine that gang rape jokes are generally - how can I put this nicely - NOT FUCKING FUNNY. I don't care about your political views. This has nothing to do with that. What this does have to do with is taking a Face for Radio, and then making it even uglier (if that is possible in this case) by making gang rape jokes. What a total douche-tard.

Pan back! Like, waaaaaaaaay back!!!

So that's about it from me today. I'm open to suggestions from you, my loyal reader(s), for more candidates for this column. I figure that at some point I'll have to induct Madonna into the Face For Radio Hall Of Fame, but there's just no time today. I mean, with her face that post could take weeks.