The NY Post calls on Pedro, obvs

Last Friday afternoon a liesurely walk that began in Tribeca eventually led the girlfriend and me to Washington Square Park. While taking in the "Let's make fun of white people before we ask them for their money" comedy/variety show that seems to run in perpetuity in the fountain, we were approached by two women from the NY Post who were seeking opinions on the whole Oprah v. James Frey Smackdown.

As some of you know I can be opinionated. Also, as some of you know, after a bottle of wine at lunch on a Friday while playing hooky from work I can be mildly amusing. These two unsuspecting "reporters" did not know either of this and were subsequently lured in by The Pedro Tractor Beam.

Now, I'm not one to toot my own horn, but... Ok, ok. I toot my own horn but that's only because I'm brilliant, charming and smarter than you - but that's all another story and you all probably knew that already. I'm dashingly handsome too. And that's NOT another story. It's the only story. But back to the anecdote at hand...

Suffice it to say that I was on fire. An audience with a pulse sure makes a difference! I dropped some of my oldest lines from acts I pulled in cheap clubs in the early 90's and they ate it up with a fork and spoon before begging for another helping. I, feeling magnanimous, obliged, closing with a brand new bit developed on the spot. Allow me to paraphrase myself:

There are certain pockets of society (myself included) that believe that Oprah is actually a space alien sent here to take over the world. I heard something about it on Howard Stearn this morning, so it must be true. But seriously she has, in my opinion, largely achieved her goal of world domination. Furthermore there is no evidence of which I am aware that she is human and her physical appearance doesn't make her case any stronger here either. And James Frey should have thought about that! I mean, the last thing you want to do is piss off the most influential woman in the universe!

Oprah: The Real ET?
Film at 11...

But human or otherwise, The Big O's influence runs far and wide and for commentary on this (and other pressing societal issues) the Post knew to call on yours truly. Ultimately, my choice words for them led to them taking our photo which, thankfully, they did not publish - allowing me to maintain my anonimity, of course.

To see the article, click here and regard the splendor of the fourth paragraph!!**

**Special thanks to Krazy Kate and Bennay for the head's up - and a great meal to boot!