Rejoice! Brad and Angelina give birth!

And Spencer Sloane at Goldenfiddle nails it.

Summer 2006 Kickoff

It's a pretty slow day in the markets as people prepare for Memorial Day weekend by leaving at lunch and spending their afternoon in traffic on the LIE. So I figured I'd say Hi and comment on some things going on in my head today.

Rayburn House Office Building

• Right now I'm watching CNN and they're covering this story about the supposed shooting in the parking garage of the Rayburn House Office building in Washington DC. Most people don' t know that there are actually six Congressional office buildings that house all the members of Congress and their staffs. The House buildings are called Rayburn, Longworth and Cannon. The Senate buildings are called Hart, Dirksen and Russell. When I worked at the US Chamber of Commerce and then The White House I ran memos and stuff in and out of all six of these buildings. Pretty sweet eh?
  
  
  
  Happier times. *Sigh*
  
• Looks like America's Royal Couple, Brit Brit and K-Fed, are done. We here at Pedro's NYC headquarters have already conducted a moment of silent prayer to reflect on this great loss to humanity. I really thought this relationship would stand the test of time - say what you want about the historical data on marriages between lead singers and their back up dancers - Brit Brit is not just any old lead singer. She is (was?!) America's Sweetheart. (from the Daily Mirror via Gawker)
  
  
  
  
  Switch Hitting Catchers are NOT dime a dozen
  
• My beloved Yankees lose another player to injury. Man, this team is a-hurtin. Georgie Posada is crucial to the Yanks success so Pedro's NYC sends him best wishes for a speedy recovery. Enjoy the rest while you can Georgie! Hopefully you come back 100% and rested for the remainder of the campaign.
  
• I got an email from one of the most famous members of the Blogosphere*: Lizzie Spiers! Also, be sure to check out her newest blog: DealBreaker! It the great words of Jim Cramer, Boo Yah!
  
  
  
  
  Pedro's NYC hearts Uma
  
• The trailer for My Super Ex-Girlfriend was released this week. Part of the film was shot outside Pedro's NYC headquarters on East 54th Street. Very. Exciting. Stuff. (Brought to my attention by Spencer.)
  
  
  
  
  X-Men are people, too!
  
• And finally, X-Men III is released this weekend and should be a smashing success. As a collector of comics for many years, I've lived through good and bad adaptations of some of my favorite comic books. The lowest point has clearly been the pathetic renditions of one of comic-doms best characters, The Punisher. I have 3 copies each of issues #1, 2 and 3, all of which would be worth substantially more if the movies hadn't sucked. But, bygones. What am I gonna do, right? Anyway, Hugh Jackman's Wolverine is absolutely perfect, and Patrick Stewart is excellent as Professor Xavier. I also have a couple of copies of the new Wolverine #1 which, at last check, were worth about $20 - pretty good ROI for the $1 I spent on them at the comic book shop in Georgetown in 1989. Or was it 1990? Anyway, I strongly urge you all to see it - but make sure you get there early to get a seat. It's gonna be packed everywhere.

That's all folks. The fund closed up 3bps today which, as my trader said, is better than being down. I'm off to meet Ralphie for a cocktail or twenty so I'm out like Ryan Fucking Seacrest. Have a great Memorial Day everyone! Back atcha next week.

*The term "Blogosphere" is used here but is being credited to Uncle Grambo at www.whatevs.org.

Blogging about Bloggers: Nightclub Bouncer edition

Hiya, kiddies. Today was just another day in paradise. I got creamed in the market, argued well enough with my boss to reduce some exposure, and had a fresh idea planted in my head after the close. Despite another crappy day for the fund, I'm feelin' pretty decent. It's a beautiful evening, the Girlfriend is picking me up and we're heading off to the garden at Barolo on West Broadway for dinner. Should be nice - mmmmmmm, Vongole.

Anyway, from time to time I like to point out to you, loyal reader(s), other blogs that I drop in on from time to time. Today, I'd like to show you a blog written by a front door bouncer at an unidentified Manhattan mega-nightclub. His name is Rob and, despite what you may think from his writing about his job, he's actually livin' the dream: Rob the Blogger got himself a book deal - the dream of every blogger, living or dead (save yours truly. My dream is to have my stocks go up JUST ONE FUCKING TIME, but that's another story, obvs). Here's Rob's website: it's called Clubland, but the web address is http://standingonthebox.blogspot.com. Bookmark it. It's a great time killer.

Rob's website is about his experiences at a club I'd never go to. It's drugged out meatheads and the B&T hoze that love them. They're loaded with cash, jacked up on drugs, and generally menaces to society at large. They drive Escalades and Mercedes. They play loud club music thinking it'll get them laid. They went to high school. They think (using that term loosely, obvs) that getting in fights is perfectly acceptable behavior when out clubbing - and that, again, it might get them laid. And, of course, they shop at Jersey Meatheads-R-Us. I'm telling you all: you've gotta read this guy's stuff. At times it's disturbing, at times hilarious, but always well written from a unique point of view we've all encountered (that of bouncer) but never experienced (and 5 minutes at SpyBar front door with Elizabeth doesn't count). Anyway, I've always enjoyed Rob's writing and so now I pass it along to you.

One other thing that I got through one of his posts was a link to this New Zealand All Blacks ass-kicking, psych-out pre-game performance. How cool is that? No wonder the All Blacks are always in it. How could they not be after this?

We Love the Hobbitses, My Preciousssss!!

How suh-weeet is this? LOTRO!!! Boo Yah!

(Via G4, via Uncle Grambizzle)

A bunch of Lord Of The Rings Geeks* have been sitting in a black box for, like, two years developing an online role playing game and it's finally ready for North American Beta Test. Sign up now for free! I would, of course, because I heart LOTR, as you all well know, My Preciousssss (dig the .wav!!).

Gollum. Gollum.

Anyway, since yours truly has a new job that requires me to be in the office from 6:45am until about 6:30pm, neither blogging nor immersing myself in a dream world of magic would be well received by the girlfriend. And, as much as I love sleeping on the sofa, well, I think it best that someone else Beta test this bad boy and let me know how it goes.

So get crackin crackers!

*Note: I took the Geek Test linked above and scored a very respectable 35.5%, labeling me a "Major Geek" obvs.

Quote of the Day

At this point, unless you've been living under a rock for the past, oh, ten years, you know about at least some of the reported antics of one Charlie Sheen. All of this, of course, came to light when the Hollywood Madam, Heidi Fleiss, got busted and tattled to the press about some of her more famous clients, of which Charlie was, shall we say, one of the most regular. Anyway, the most recent round of tabloid reporting about Charlie's love for all things porn/drug/degenerate, has come via his estranged wife, Denise "The Mouth" Richards. Now I'm not going to get into that today because I'm off to my new office and am pressed for time so I'll simply report that the New York Daily News reported today that apparently and allegedly, our golden boy Charlie has been flying back and forth to Vegas to see a transvestite named Kayla Coxx. When contacted, Coxx would not directly comment on the allegations that anything is up with her (?) and Charlie. She did, however, leave this little gem behind which I feel is my repsonsibility to pass along to you, loyal readers.

Coxx told us [the NYDN]: "I don't want to comment on that. But I will say, I'm so sick of buying cheerleader outfits it's not even funny."

Classic.

Thanks to Rush & Malloy at the New York Daily News for this one.

Fishing Trip #2: The Blues are running!

Boo Yah People! Last night Lernsie, Chris and I hit the waters again with Cap'n Tony and had the single sickest night of fishing I've ever had in New York waters. I think the final tally was Lerner 20+, Chrissie 8 or so, and Pedro 4. Lerner was so hot that it really was unbelievable. We hit Tony's wall after having no success on the drifts, and it turns out the Blues are Back Baby!!! We had one hell of a time, despite the rain. We had Blues, Browzers, a rainbow, a beautiful sunset and, finally, a beast for me. Check it!

Who are those guys?

At one point the sun was setting beautifully on one side, while on the other side ...

A full rainbow! Clearly a sign of good things to come. This is when the blues were jumping out of the water (usually on the end of Johnnie's line, btw) and we were having a ball. What a night. But things were going to get better because once the blues stopped biting we decided to go for a couple of last drifts up by Gracie Mansion. It was at this point that the weather finally arrived and down came the rains. To counter my poor luck and the salty dog weather, I decided that drastic measures had to be taken: I switched to white booze, lit a smokie and asked Cap'n Tony to turn on a little southern rock. Lo and behold, FISH ON BABY!!!

How'm I doin' now!! Boo Yah!

This only the half of it. I actually broke out my touchdown dance. There's nothing like landing the beast - and then releasing it back so that it can go make more fishies!!

Just a couple more satisfied customers. We followed this by mauling monster steaks at Smith & Wolly's Grill where we sat next to and, if memory serves, accosted none other than Yankee legend Mr. David Cone. Pedro's NYC hearts Coney. What a night!

Fishing Trip #1: Cold but a beautiful day

Last night Lernsie, Chris and I went out fishing with Cap'n Tony, departing the E 23rd Street pier at around 5:45 for the second time in 8 days. Last week, the weather was great. Below is the picture of NYC from when we headed out with Ralphie, Lernsie, Salzie, Peter and yours truly. It was cold (note Ralphie's gloves), but we had a great time.

Ahhh, sunny mid-town.

Anyway, Peter struck first, and Lernsie and Ralph had some luck as well. Regard.

And Pa Bell said Charlie Don't Surf!!

Hey - it may not be much, but it sure beats what I caught!!

Nice one you Old Salty Dog!!

A twofer! Nice fish, boys!

And here's our fair City when we returned to the dock. Of course, in the interest of full disclosure, I failed to catch any fish that night. A let down, to be sure. I did however, catch one hell of a buzz. Started with the browzers, moved to the brown booze, and when that didn't work, I hit the white booze - and yet all that yielded nothing. Tough night for Pedro, but still a great way to spend the evening.

David Blaine: Magician, Illusionist, Total Fucking Tool

Can you believe this guy? I swear to God, he drives us here at Pedro's NYC totally nuts. Yet, in one of those unfortunate conditions of the human experience, this is one of those things in life I just can't help but to look at. Seriously Kyle. I hate this guy. One time in London, I actually took a walk across London Bridge just to witness the fact that this idiot put himself in a glass box suspended from a crane for like a month. Where does he come up with this stuff?

I saw this photo, right, of him reading a hand written message from a gentleman who, based solely on sartorial evidence, appears to be some kind of medical professional. I'm dying to know what it says. I've thought of all kinds of things, ranging from the obvious "You're on your own now dumbass" to the cynical "While you're in there I'll be with your girlfriend". [Any other ideas? Post in the comments section - Ed.] And that's another thing. How does he bag all these chicks, anyway? I mean, what's his pick up line? "Hey Baby. I rocked a glass box for 44 days. Wanna fuck?" How does that work? We hear at Pedro's make no claim to understand chicks - we simply tip toe around and hope for the best. But how does a woman arrive at the conculsion that parking in a glass box for 44 days makes a man appealing? Where's the logic in that? There isn't any! If there was then no one would be seen with this knucklehead unless very well paid. Rather, a better line would be something like, "Hey Baby. Look at the idiot in the glass box. I'm not stupid enough to do something that dumb. Wanna fuck?" But hey - we're from Mars so what do we know, right?

Anyway, I digress. These stunts have awarded Mr. Blaine a certain amount of fame. Google registered 10.9 million hits in 0.7 seconds for David Blaine whereas Google returned only 41 hits for PedrosNYC (albeit in a very fast 0.22 seconds so TAKE THAT! HA!). He was highlighted by Spencer Sloane (who's from Atlanta, people), over at Goldenfiddle.com, and of course I'm writing to add my two cents as well. There's been some local news coverage and the grand finale will be aired on national tv. NBC points out other Blaine tricks include

Blaine's previous feats included balancing on a 22-inch circular platform atop a 100-foot pole for 35 hours; being buried alive in a see-through coffin for a week; and surviving inside a massive block of ice for 61 hours, all of which were performed in New York. In 2003, he fasted for 44 days in a suspended acrylic box over the Thames River in London.

Riveting stuff no doubt. Anyway, I just think this guy is a tool but I might have to stop by and see him in all his stupidity for myself. What can I tell you? I hate myself for it but what am I gonna do?

ENOUGH! I'm back.

Well, it' s been a while, people. Sorry bout that, because it's not that I don't love you guys, but I've just not had the mojo. Also, it's spring and I've been grillin and chillin out side a lot. I wanted to check in to let you all know that I got a new day job. I start on Monday. And I'm so fucking pumped I can't even tell you. The firm is the one made famous years ago when this book was published. The author, however, no longer works there as he's now taken his lunacy to a larger stage, television, where people just looooove his ass - even when he has no clue what he's talking about. How's that for a Pedro's NYC Boo Yah!?!?